Docklands, Melbourne – at 12:06pm on Monday, a team of hungry Finance colleagues were riding the office lift, hoping to buy lunch and eat it in time for their 12:30 meeting that some prick from Marketing had organised.
The notoriously slow lift was puttering its way down from level 32, stopping every few levels to pick up other workers who probably also had 12:30 meetings to get to.
Three agonising minutes into the journey, the lift was nearly at its final destination. The elevator’s momentum had built up well and people were feeling hopeful… But then, all of a sudden, the lift stopped on Level 4.
The doors opened, but nobody was in sight. After a few seconds of waiting, the doors slowly began to close… but not before a foot came out of nowhere to prevent the door from shutting entirely.
The doors opened again to let in a very unfit and smug looking man. He proceeded to lift his finger to the number pad and pressed Level 3.
A faint “oh, you lazy bastard” could be heard from someone at the back of the lift, as it made its way to Level 3.
The man then, very unfitly and smugly, sauntered out of the lift at Level 3 – leaving his newly founded group of detractors to proceed to the Ground floor.
At 12:32, the group had hurriedly bought and finished their meals and were only slightly late to their 12:30 meeting. Turns out, in a sick twist of fate, that the meeting was being run by the same smug bastard who was too lazy to walk one flight of stairs.
