Docklands, Melbourne – at 12:35pm last Tuesday, the Operational Risk leadership team from a local bank were sitting at lunch to welcome their new executive to the team, Günther Morton.
The lunch was at a nearby Irish pub, so everyone naturally ordered Chicken Parmas (except for Simon Worthington-Perez, who ordered an Asparagus Burger cos he’s a weirdo).
For the uninitiated, Chicken Parmas are famous Australian dishes that come with three things: an unnaturally large chicken breast (with ham and melted cheese), a side of chips and a salad.
Once all of the guests had their meals in front of them, they proceeded to dig in.
Some people went straight for the chicken, while others had a few chips dipped in tomato sauce – it seemed that everyone was enjoying their meals.
“How’s your Parma, Günther?” Asked Celine Hunter, to her new boss.
“I haven’t tried it yet, I’m still enjoying this wonderful salad”. Replied Mr. Morton.
The team found this to be very strange – especially because the salads that come with Parmas are generally thought to only be there for decorative purposes.
As the lunch proceeded, Morton continued to only eat his salad until there was none of it left. He then finally moved onto the chicken, of which he only had one mouthful.
“This is a pretty good Parma” exclaimed Mr. Morton, “but it pales in comparison to that fantastic salad!”
The team at this point were thinking that Günther Morton was showing signs of being a corporate psychopath.
To confirm their suspicions, Mrs. Hunter then asked “Günther, how do you put on your shoes in the morning?”
“Thank you for asking, Celine. I like to first put on my left sock and then my left shoe. Once I’ve tied the shoelace, I will then put on my right sock, my right shoe and finally tie my right shoelace.”
His team then hurried back to the office to update their resumes and LinkedIn profiles.
